On Leaving River Styx

The shackles which bound the captor dropped in sweet surrender to the frozen ground. It was freedom; it was spring again. It  was a new era and those big blue eyes could still acquiesce to the release of the captives. It may have been arduous task, nevertheless, it is in freeing others that one finds himself basking in the warmth of sunlight once again.

I have come to understand that I cannot absolutely regret the choices I made. At one point in my life, I chose to love and trust those people. Their being unable to return my sentiments does not necessarily mean that to trust and love others is wrong. I have also come to believe that love is not a thing that can be felt, truly by one person alone. There can only be inequalities and one must learn that a little return could suffice. These people are lessons. I admit I had trouble digesting the entirety of such but yes, they are. For years, I kept myself chained in my own bitterness knowing full well that I cannot and I will not accept treachery in exchange for my loyalty. Memories keep floating upon my occasional reverie. I can clearly see their faces floating in my River Styx. The people I kept frozen in the tundra of my worst judgment kept on haunting me. So, I resolved to keep my feelings and emotions at bay. I became an emotionless puppet I feared I would turn out to be. But this is wrong. Indeed, there is nothing gained by keeping your heart away from the front lines. It pays more to be yourself and bring your heart wherever you may be. I realized that forgiveness will always have two facets: that of forgiving others and forgiving yourself. These are some thoughts I chose to ponder upon on a Friday night. Perhaps this is the reason why I find it difficult to sleep early.



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